Day 80: I Love You Because...I Choose to

"Talking with you right before bed is one of my favorite things."

This sign hangs in our bathroom right above our toilet :)  I keep a dry erase marker in a basket on the toilet, and we write private messages to each other every few days.  Well, this one isn't really private, but it was safe for public consumption, so I posted the photo.  I didn't make this myself, but someone in our church did (she saw the idea on Pinterest) and brought it to our annual silent auction.  I'm convinced that it is the best money I every spent.  

Several months ago, I was at a crossroads in our marriage.  It was a moment of decision- a literal watershed moment appeared before me.  In pain and anger, I erased whatever had been written last and stared at the empty frame.  I left the room, but the image wouldn't leave my mind.  It was a convicting reminder that love is a choice.  Not a feeling.  Not those warm fuzzies you get when you are incredibly happy, or he's done something sweet and thoughtful.  It's not even about the love you have for the children that you've created together.  It's a decision to put the other's needs above your own.  It's a vow you make to each other on your wedding day. And some days, it's a test of your character and your Christianity.  On that day, I wiped the tears from my eyes, deliberately picked up the marker and wrote, "Right now, I choose to."  There were no giddy, school-girl feelings influencing me.  I wasn't caught up in physical attraction.  I merely chose to love someone else who had not been so loving to me- knowing that had the roles been reversed, I would want/pray/beg for the same consideration.  And remembering that Christ does the same for me day after day, after day, after day......

This simple tool and reminder literally saved our marriage.  And it keeps it fresh each and every day.  It's a reminder to ignore that dirty pile of clothes on the floor and remember the love that we choose to have for one another.  And then the choice gives way to those giddy, school-girl flutterings that remind you why you were attracted to each other in the first place.