My post last week about love is by far the most popular post on my blog. I think that is because everyone who is married can relate to the struggles of "staying in love." That, and we all have different tastes, so a recipe I think is divine may be disgusting to you :) So today, with some help from my Facebook friends, I put together of list of things you don't want to do. Well, unless you're trying to harm your marriage, and in that case, you need a real counselor, not a blog written by someone you may have never heard of before. :)
- Expect to have butterflies-in-your-stomach-racing pulse-warm fuzzies all day, every day. Because we all know love is a feeling, right? If you don't feel like you did when you first met, there must be something wrong.
- Never go out of your way to tell your mate that you love them. They should know that already, right? I mean, you married them- isn't it obvious? Mushy cards and sentimental notes are just for high school kids.
- NEVER say "I'm sorry." Hold your ground!!! You know you are right- they will just have to come around to the way you see things if there's going to be peace in the house!
- Don't bother to pray with your mate, or even for them. Spirituality should be a private thing. Besides, it's humbling and sometimes embarrassing to say things out loud to God in front of each other. Who wants that? And praying for them is a waste- God knows what they need. He doesn't need to hear it from you, right?
- Always be sure to point out when you spouse is doing wrong, or going away from where you thing they should be spiritually. The Holy Spirit needs our help- He's probably busy and hasn't noticed that your mate needs some convicting. Because things always improve when you point out one another's faults.
I come from a family where divorce is rampant. There is not one person that I am related to that has not gotten divorced! I am the only family member who is still in their first marriage. And I've only been married 3 years. That said #3 is where I have seen most marriages dissolve. It is amazing how stubborn people can be! The most recent divorcee in my family refused to compromise with her husband because she felt exactly as you said. That she was right and even if she wasn't it didn't matter. Things were going to be her way or everyone was going to pay! She loved to quote "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy." Well certainly no one is happy now and she is having to fight for custody of her kids. It's amazing to me... don't they see that by not compromising and insisting that it be "my way or the highway" that they didn't get their way at all?
ReplyDeleteToo many people fail to understand that loves requires giving. Sometimes it is sacrificial. Sometimes it means you give up what you want so the other person can have what they want. I would even go a step farther than "compromise." That usually means that both sides give up a little of what they wanted in order to reach an agreement. That way, no one is happy and everyone loses. What is required, even though it is an ugly word to many people is Submission. A complete giving over of yourself to the other person. It goes both ways- "Submitting yourselves one to another... Ephesians 5:21" makes for a truly happy home.
DeleteKeep holding fast! You can be the couple that breaks the cycle in your family and rear your daughter to be the same kind of wife and mother! :)