When I saw this pin, I was thrilled to discover the content was right on the money. It links to Candace Cameron Bure's website. The article is actually written by a guest, known as the Time Warp Wife. Her site also has great marriage building posts. When you're finished reading here, check them out for some great resources!
When your marriage experiences a terrible wound, as many of them will at some point in time, how you react to that individually and as a couple will affect the healing process. There are some things that need to covered up in your marriage. Not to hide them from the world, but to cover the wound and help it heal. It's one thing to seek counsel and compassion from godly friends in a time of trouble. It's another thing entirely to sit around the table at Starbucks and smear your spouse as you expose all the wrongs in your marriage. Some things need covering. They will remain private- a part of your marriage that you share only with each other. Sometimes you have to bury yourselves away from family, friends and the world and just allow God to work in your lives and heal you and your marriage from the inside. There are things we have gone through together in the last year that I have shared here and in person with friends and family. Then there are things that are just between us. Private prayers and conversations that become a part of a healing process. Not everything needs to be laid bare. Next time you feel the need to "vent" over the phone to your best friend, stop and ask yourself if this is something that would be better "covered." Please read the excerpt below, as it will put this in context with Scripture and make much more sense than I've been able to do! :)
standeth take heed lest he fall.
~ 1 Corinthians 10:12
How could this concept be connected to marriage?
What exactly is covering and how do I apply it to my life in the way I relate to Michael? (my husband)
I got to thinking about Noah, and the events that were recorded in Genesis chapter nine. We learn from the story that after planting a vineyard, Noah was found drunk and naked in his tent. His son Ham witnessed his father’s indiscretion, but rather than concealing the incident he went to tell his two brothers about it.
On one hand, it sounds like an awful thing for someone to do, but on the other hand I realize that I’m guilty in much the same way. There have been times when my husband has done things that have really gotten under my skin; times when his imperfection and human weakness is revealed, and I’m left with two choices: one is to respond as God would have me respond, and the other choice is to grab my cell phone, head outside for a walk, call a good friend, and vent.
The thing is however that whether we’re mocking another for their human failure or venting in anger, we’re exposing their wounds to the world rather than seeking a way to bring healing to them.
and laid it upon both their shoulders,
and went backward, and covered the
nakedness of their father; and their faces
were backward, and they saw not
their father’s nakedness.
~ Genesis 9:23
In Marriage Undercover, Bob and Audrey Meisner share their painful experience with adultery, offering wisdom to those whose marriages are under attack. Bob writes, “Concealing the matter concerning me and Audrey was not to cover it up, but to cover it so that healing could take place.” (page 22) I had to underline that one!
They go on to compare this covering to that of a bandage that protects and shields a wound during the time of healing.
Going back to the story of Noah, we can see by the loving kindness of Shem and Japheth that they weren’t simply hiding their father’s failure from the world. Entering the tent backwards was an act of respect on their part and evidence that they loved him.
That’s where the difference lies. Seeking the counsel of a friend from a place of compassion with a desire to heal is different than sitting around the table gossiping about our husband’s faults with other wives, or slandering our husbands because of the pain we’ve endured.
This principle of covering the ones that we love is important when facing big trials in our marriage, but it’s also important to practice the same level of compassion when it comes to the trivial things that get under our skin.
Why? Because fault-finders are every bit as human as those they condemn and every bit as guilty of sin. Just because you’re walking high today, that doesn’t mean you won’t fall tomorrow. And if you do fall into a pit of sin, you’ll be looking for redemption and grace to pull you back out.
but the honour of kings is to search out a matter.
~ Proverbs 25:2
Darlene Schacht
Time-Warp Wife
Time-Warp Wife
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