Martyr. We all play one at one time or another. Sometimes it stems from a need to feel appreciated for all we do around the house and with the kids. Sometimes it's just plain pride and selfishness. Either way, it's an unhealthy and sinful way to get your needs met in a marriage.
While following the 21 day marriage vow challenge from Time Warp Wife, I read this article. (click on the photo above to go to her site). It was immediately convicting. I realized that I tend to play the weak, sad wife when my husband is going to be leaving overnight, or even just working a long day and going to miss dinner and bedtime. It's good to let him know that I miss him when he's gone, and we really need him around the house, but I never realized how difficult I make things for him when I dwell on how difficult things are going to be for me. And to be honest, when I'm out in public, or just around other moms, I'll happily play the tough super woman. But get me a sympathetic audience and suddenly I'm so sad, and this is so hard, and when do I get a break, and you're so lucky to get to be alone at work...sigh...pout...moan. Shame on me!
Remember, it's hard on him to leave, too! He doesn't really want to be away from the comforts of home and family. Whether it's deployment (HUGE props to military wives-I don't know how you do it!), a business trip, or just a long week at work, he'd still rather be at home. Thinking about you sitting at home, alone, pining away for him while things fall apart around you is not going to help him concentrate and get his work done properly. You can be a help meet for him, even when he's away at work. A strong wife is a blessing to her husband.
Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
~ Proverbs 31:25 ~
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